Broken
by syfygeek1
Summary: JJ and Emily are having complications with their relationship when they are both captured by an unsub. Can they survive the mental and physical torture and be able to admit openly their feelings for each other?
1. Chapter 1

The first few rounds as a human punching bag didn't seem too painful. Sure the hand-to-body contact hurt like a bitch, but the sting afterwards was something bearable. I had been physically abused before, and this wasn't much different, until he pulled her out. Seeing her tied up and sprawled on the floor under him just about killed me.

"Get your hands off her you piece of shit," I screamed at him, but the words only brought a greasy grin on the man's face.

"Now it's her turn to play. Don't be shy, I'm not going to hurt you anymore," the man teasingly sung as he tied my friend's arms to the hanging ceiling chains, leaving her as helpless as I was.

He stroked her face slowly, leaving the tape on her mouth. I didn't need to hear the wails that were escaping her lips. No, the mental torment was written all over her body language. She trembled at his touch, like a helpless lamb surrounded by a pack of wolves, she was powerless to what was going to happen to her next.

"Please, can it be my turn again? I don't think I learned my lesson yet. You keep mumbling bitch at me, but as far as I can see, you are still the bitch. No wonder you can't get a woman, you don't even know how to beat one up. You're pathet-"

*smack* "Shut the hell up you whore. Don't you dare talk to a superior like that. How am I going to get it through to you that women are and will always be bitches, men's play toys, an instrument for mating and that's it. Your kind disgusts me. You think you can go in a room with a tiny skirt and a push up bra and get your way, you are all the same," he spit at me. His face was so close I could feel the sticky hot breath on my neck. The sickening smell of his breath was enough to make anyone drop to their knees.

As he hit me again, this time directly in my right breast, I bit my tongue. The sting ran up and down my body, and I glanced over to see if she was ok. Her eyes were tightly closed, not wanting to see what he was doing to me. She knew what I had done, and I'd keep on doing it until I died, or maybe if they found us…

*smack* I heard the heavy sound of fist hitting skin, but this time I didn't feel anything. I glanced up and saw why, he hadn't punched me, he had done it to her.

"Stop it you woman!" I screamed needing to get his attention. Instead he continued to lay it on her, one after another. Wanting to hear the pleasures of his work, he ripped off the tape covering her mouth. The screams of pain filled the dark room.

He wants me to beg now. I took a deep breath, feeling my stomach getting sick as I watched him brutally smacking her again and again, never stopping to even take a look at what he was doing. Here goes nothing. "Please stop it. I'll do anything if you just stop it. I swear," I cringingly begged him. He immediately stopped his work and turned to face me, his eyes red with fury and excitement.

"I'll stop Emily, if you continue doing it instead. I want you to hit JJ as hard as you possibly can, if she doesn't bleed I will cut her fingers off, or I might just kill her. You choose whore. Let's see if you have the compassion of a woman or the patheticness of a slut. Her life is in your hands now," he started laughing.


	2. Chapter 2

His words hit me harder than his fist. Who was I to decide anyone's fate, let alone JJ's, someone who I had very strong feelings for. His words repeated over and over again in my head, and each time the scenario for what I would choose never ended up being a good one. I had never dreamed of laying a hand on JJ, or at least not in this way. I couldn't face her, not like this, so weak and vulnerable. It wasn't me.

I was looking down at my feet, avoiding any eyes that might have been cast in my direction, and I barely noticed that the man had left JJ and I alone. I heard the door slam shut, and then the loud banging of feet over my head. I had no idea what I was going to say to her, if anything, so I was thrilled when she broke the silence.

"Em, I don't know how long he is going to be gone, but I think-"

"JJ how am I supposed to do it? I can't hit you, but if I don't do what he says, you'll…" the word caught in my throat. I couldn't bring myself to say it. If I said it out loud than it became real, her dying right in front of me. And if that happened, it would be my fault. It wouldn't even matter that he was the one doing it. She was about to say something, but the man was now coming back to the door, and we only had seconds left to ourselves.

"Please forgive me. I love you, no matter what happens," I quickly told her, and she nodded in response, tears rolling down her face. She wasn't afraid of the pain it would cause her, but she was worried about how I would deal. She was always so selfless. That was one of the countless things I admired about her.

Before I knew what was going on he was right back where he had left us, standing in the middle so once again I couldn't see her. I took a deep breath, wanting to tell him my choice before he could ask or demand it. I wanted to keep what little control I could have over the situation, something that might help or hurt me later on.

"I'll do it," I told him. My voice surprisingly sounded strong under the circumstances. He looked at me with his dark eyes.

"What will you do Emily?" he asked me. His face no longer showed the anger from before, but now had this calm look to it. In the mere minute he had vanished upstairs and came back it was almost as if another person had taken his place.

"I'll hit JJ. I'll hurt her, I will make her bleed," I retorted at him. I hated myself for saying it, for thinking about it, but what was going to happen I had no control over.

He walked over to me, his breath reeking of alcohol. He got real close, right up next to my ear, and whispered, "Remember this, if you do a real good job I might just let her live when this is all over with, you hear? Your death, on the other hand, will bring me much pleasure." I thought he was done, but he grabbed real hard against my neck, and his fingernails dug into my skin. I could hardly breathe, but he continued on with his taunting words.

"I want you to show her exactly how much you love her. When you're doing her in, give her a few kisses, maybe feel her up a bit to. Stop- don't look at her right now. I swear if you even hint at her any of this, I will do things to her that she will never come back from. I will make her afraid of the dark, afraid of human touch, afraid of you," he finished his speech and slowly let go of my neck. I was quietly analyzing his character in my head, while also trying to plan a way to escape. If I had an opportunity, when he releases me from my chains, I was going to show him how much he really needed to keep me locked up. I was going to try and get him on the floor, then knock him out, or kill him, and then find something to break JJ out.

As my plan unfolded in my head, I could feel him loosening the chains around my ankles. I was now just counting the seconds before I was going to start my plan. I closed my eyes and took slow, deep breaths, trying to concentrate on the task at hand. If I was given the chance, I was going to end his life, and I would have absolutely no regrets or remorse about it. As he worked his way up, my hopes caved in. The door had opened and then quickly closed again and another man stood in the room.

"Hello father. Can I watch?"


	3. Chapter 3

As the new situation was weighing on me, I felt myself almost giving up. The chains were almost completely off of me, but I felt more chained down than ever. I glanced quickly over at JJ and sighed in relief that I had been the only one to have their whole body chained up. It was like I was some kind of animal that they felt the need to keep locked up. This was how they thought they were going to train me, to teach me my lessons.

The man was finally up to my arms with one chain left to undo. He motioned over his shoulder at his son, who was still in the shadows, almost as if he was waiting for his father's orders. "I must inform you, my son has a thing for brunettes. Last hooker I gave him, well it took me nearly a week to clean the blood off the walls," he snickered and went back to his work. Don't let it get to you Emily, I told myself. He probably wasn't lying about it either, which just made my stomach go into knots. This wasn't the first father-son pair I had seen, but it always seemed to be a worst case when the parent tried to mold their kids into being like them.

"You're a sick bastard. You ruined his life, made him just like you, didn't you? Like father like son. I've ran into you types all the time. So alone you have to make your offspring just like you just to make yourself feel like you're not some kind of freak. Killing women isn't good enough for you, is that it? Does he make you feel less pathetic?" I was trying to get something out of him. I didn't think he'd go to JJ again, he was saving her up for me.

Before the man could answer me back, the boy came out from the shadows and into the light. He was a bigger guy than his father, and I knew he would pack a mean punch. He had his father's dark eyes, but nothing else similar. He had to be in his late teens, and could easily be on the high school football team.

"Don't you dare talk like that to my father. I swear I will-"

He swung at me but his father caught his hand right before it hit my face.

"Don't you dare ruin this for me Jacob. I told you to wait over there, no matter what, didn't I? She's trying to test us, analyze us, see were our weak spots are. Go back over there and grab me a chair," the father demanded. The son stared at me for another second, his eyes full of rage. He listened to his father though and went back into the shadows.

"He does love his daddy," the man smiled and quickly finished with the last chain. I felt free, finally. I could feel my legs and arms again, all very bruised from how tight the chains had been placed around me. My brain was yelling at me to run out of here, to try and escape, but my heart was aching to stay, to be with JJ, till the end.

JJ's POV

Emily was now untied, and it appeared the man was talking to her and she didn't seem happy about what he was saying. I tried to stop my heart from beating so loudly to try and see if I could hear anything, but I couldn't make out any of the words he was saying. She had told me earlier that she had loved me, but that wasn't news. She had said it at least a dozen times before, but this time it almost sounded apologetic.

I wanted to tell her that I didn't care what she was going to do to me. If they told her to kill me, I'd be okay with that, as long as it meant she had a chance to stay alive longer. The team would find us, I knew it, but time was running out. How long had we been missing? Did they even know yet?

The man moved away, leaving the two of us staring at each other. Tears were rolling down Emily's face. I didn't know if it was better to look at her or away from her. If I looked away that meant that I was scared and didn't trust her, that I didn't want to see what was going to happen to me, but if I looked at her then she would see the pain in my eyes. I decided it was best to look at her with confidence and trust. After all I wasn't afraid for me, but for her. She stepped in front of me and I held my breath, waiting for it to happen.

Her hands first went up to mine, but she could barely reach them. It wasn't in a painful matter, but in a comforting way. They ran down my breasts and traveled to my hips. She took a step closer to me, her body now against mine. What was she doing? Who cares, it felt so good and right and my body tingled with her touch. She kissed my neck softly. Then she kissed my chest and worked her way up to my lips. When they met, it was like everything melted away. It was a deep, passionate kiss that lasted only for a second, but felt like forever. Her lips were so soft and soothing, and even with the dried blood on her face and sweat dripping down her body, she still smelt heavenly. I'd give anything to be able to touch her again with my own hands, to feel her soft skin and to hold her, or just to tell her I loved –

*smack* The first hit was in my stomach. My muscles tensed back up again and my face fell in pain. I tried but I couldn't stop from showing the pain in my face. Again she hit me. Her tears were falling on my body now as she was hitting me again and again.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to show her my pain anymore. Even though she couldn't see my eyes, my face didn't hide the pain. My screams filled the room. I tried to focus on something else, but every time I thought of something a split second later it was focused on wherever she was hitting me.

It took me a few minutes but I found myself focusing on other things. I could still feel the pain and the sharp stings all over my body, but my mind was slowly fading away from what was happening.


	4. Chapter 4

Broken chapter 4

I saw darkness and it welcomed me. I couldn't focus on what was going on now, it wouldn't fix anything. I needed to concentrate on how we got here, how this all went wrong. Think. Think! Where were we before this happened? We were eating at a diner. Yes! And we were alone...no, the whole team was there. I had the memory, now all I had to do was open my eyes.

A bright light blinded me, and then I was back at the diner with the team. We were all crammed together in a booth and the aroma of fried food and coffee overwhelmed me. I took a look around at the surroundings, and then I saw Emily who was sitting across from me. I tried to speak, to warn her about what was going to happen, but I had to let things ride out like they had that night. I was still powerless over my life.

**THE BEGINNING**

The men surrounded us and were in a heated debate about sports. Reid was spewing out statistics about each team. The somewhat relaxing evening had been out of the norm for the team, and we were enjoying each other's company. Penelope's voice popped over Morgan's cell phone, which he had put on speaker phone.  
"Boys, settle down. Let's not get all gladiator on me on the topic of baseball and football. Why don't we, I dunno, talk about something more appealing to the ladies as well?" Garcia spoke in a very upbeat manner, and she stopped the guys in their tracks. "You hear that? The sweet sound of peace and quiet. Now where was I? Ahh yes…"  
I smirked at that. I wasn't anti-sports or anything. I grew up playing soccer, but I didn't really feel like joining into the discussion. My mind was focused on other things.

As Penelope continued to dominate the conversation, I had now completely spaced out and found myself staring at Emily, breaking the pact that we had earlier made about no little flirtations in front of the team, but since when was looking a danger to anyone? She was gazing back at me, and I couldn't help but feel like nothing else in the world mattered. I felt a smile spreading on my face as we stared into each other's eyes, and everything else seemed to go away. My stomach still got the butterfly feeling whenever I looked at Emily, something that had taken me awhile to understand and come to terms with.

I felt lost in Emily's eyes for a second and almost didn't hear Reid informing me that my phone was ringing. I quickly looked away, ashamed at how even looking at her made my heart skip a beat and got my palms all sweaty. It was like a teenage crush, but more than that. We had been good friends for a while before the attraction came to be. I was lost in my thoughts as I slid out of the booth and answered the phone.

"Sorry guys, I've got to take this."

"Hello? Mr. Henderson is that you?

"Jennifer, yes. It seems my wife this morning forgot about a shoe box full of mementos that our son had kept hidden from us. I looked through it and I think some of the diaries and pictures could be of use to you and your team," the man quietly spoke over the phone, his voice almost too muffled to hear over the jukebox tunes.

"Umm, yes I think that will be very helpful. Tomorrow I can-"  
"Tomorrow? I was hoping you could stop by tonight and pick it up. My wife is insistent on helping you guys, and she wants the box out of the house. She can't stand to look at it. It brings up too many memories."  
"Of course. Tonight-" I checked my watch. It read 8:32 PM, which was later than I wanted it to be, but not too late to take a quick ride down to the Henderson's house. I sighed before finishing my sentence, "-sure I can do that. I'll leave now so I can make it over by 9:00, ok?"  
"Yes. Yes that sounds perfect. I'll see you then. Please hurry." The phone clicked, and he was gone. What a strange call. Something felt wrong, but I brushed it off as me being annoyed at his interruption. The team had gone to their house earlier and told them their son was a suspect in the murders that had been happening over the last few weeks. They probably just wanted to get this all over with. At least somebody could maybe sleep better once this case was finished.  
I walked back over to the team, and it seemed they, all but Emily, were now noticing my absence. Hotch was the first one to speak. "Is everything ok JJ? Did something come up?"

I quickly fixed my eyes on Hotch, my face was almost unreadable. "Yeah, everything's fine. Mr. Henderson just called informing me that his wife had come across a shoe box full of photos and trinkets and some journals from their son."

Hotch looked down at the food that had just been served from the waitress. He looked hungry, but the job always came first for him. "It would be useful in our investigation. Go ahead and head out, but bring-" he looked around at the team. Reid was eating, Rossi and Morgan were having a debate with Garcia, and Prentiss seemed to be distant. He turned back to JJ and continued the conversation like he had never stopped, "-Emily along with you. It's already dark outside, and I don't want you to go alone. Inform me when you are headed back, do you understand?"

I was trying to mask the euphoria I felt. Finally we would get some alone time together this trip. I nodded and was silently joined by Emily. We left without saying goodbye, and I hoped that this little trip would help with the tension between Emily and I. The café door slammed shut behind us, and the bickering of the team faded away. We slipped in the car and I drove away to the house.


	5. Chapter 5

Broken chapter 5

After a few minutes of silence on the road, I decided to put on the radio. This had become a normal routine for me during cases to help get me to relax. I turned the music up high and just focused on the road ahead.

After a couple of songs the DJ changed and the new one announced that the Lover's Lane hour was now starting. I laughed, not believing that people still called in to request a song and dedicate it to their "special" someone.

I reached over to change the station, but my hand was lightly slapped away. "Don't you dare change the station!" Emily looked over at me, her face deadly serious.

She took my hand again, seeing that I was a bit shocked by her reaction. She held it tight. "I'm sorry if I startled you JJ. I just got an idea, ok? Pull over at the next spot. Trust me," she smiled, trying to reassure me.

I was confused and wanted to plead with her, but it was no use. Emily was stubborn and when she had her mind set on something, there was no talking her out of it. It was a quality I loved to hate about her.

We listened to the corny songs people were sending out to their loved ones. It felt right, the two of us together, holding hands and laughing. Something was bothering me though.

"Emily, can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, of course JJ. What is – oh wait look there is a spot to pull over. Can it wait a second?"

No, I thought. "Uh huh," I lied. I pulled over to the side of the road. The pitch black sky and forest surrounding the two of us on all sides made me feel trapped in. I was getting goose bumps just looking at it. No street lights, just darkness lay ahead for us.

I wanted to say be careful, but I knew Emily would just laugh it off. I was always worrying about her. She has no idea how when we're on a case, I don't sleep or relax until I know she is safe with me. She's always so impulsive and protective, and I know one of these days it's going to come back and hurt her.

The car door slammed shut and Emily was inside with a huge grin on her face.

"Oh no no no. You didn't, did you? You did!" I wanted to throw something at her. She just sat in her seat laughing.

"Go ahead, turn on the radio. I dare you," she was almost choking back tears now.

I glared at her, and turned on the radio. A song was just ending and the man came back on. "Don't you just love the romance in the air tonight? Alright folks tonight we got ourselves an interesting request. As you know, we love all couples no matter what race or sex you are, but damn this chick sounded fine. Anyway Emily called in and wanted to say JJ, you're the breath of my life, the reason I wake up in the morning, and tonight let's do it like they do it on the Discovery channel. Here's the song. Have a good evening ladies," the jockey ended his speech, and I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard.

"You are insane! Is that...you requested I Kissed a Girl? Really? What if the team heard this?" I said on a more serious note, although I was still laughing.

"I didn't say half of those things and I certainly did not request this song. The service up here is horrible. And really JJ? So what if they do? You can't worry about them. That's what you were going to ask me about earlier, wasn't it?" I could see the sorrow in her eyes. I had just ruined a perfect evening.

I turned down the volume. The poppy song was quietly playing in the background still. I brought my hands back to the steering wheel, gripping it so hard my knuckles were turning white. "I just don't want you to get in trouble. I couldn't bare to be the cause of you being fired. Whatever this is, it's great, I mean it's more than great. What I feel for you, words don't even begin to describe it but shouldn't we stop before we jump the wagon and someone gets hurt?"

I tried to tell myself that I was doing the right thing, but saying those words out loud brought tears to my eyes. The atmosphere in the car had just completely changed. Nobody was laughing anymore. I was scared of what Emily was going to say, if anything, but selfishly I was more terrified she would agree.

Emily looked at me, her eyes dark and wet. "I don't care what they think. You know how I hate politics, especially these stupid relationship rules at our work," she was getting angry now, what I had said had hit her hard. "What I feel, what my heart does when I'm around you, that's what I know, that's what matters. Screw everyone else. If I get fired for loving you, then I don't want to work for those single-minded people anyway. It drives me crazy when I'm without you.

"At work I love flirting with you, sending dirty texts and playing footsy under the table. All the little things like that make my day. We see these horrible things every day; deal with these sick people, and sometimes I just want to give up on the world. But you change that, you make me feel like there is hope left, like people are worth fighting for. You are the brightness in the dark for me. Outside of work when it's just you and me, that is the most precious time. And what we did last night, I have never felt more passion for anyone, only you," Emily took in a deep breath.

I was speechless. She had just poured her heart out to me, and I couldn't even think of something to say. I turned the car back on and stared out the window, still not able to fully function. I felt something grab my head and pull me towards Emily.

"Just kiss me god dammit," Emily said and I turned and met her lips. It was blissful. Her lips were soft and perfect.

She let me go, maybe seconds or minutes later, I couldn't tell. She sat back down and licked her lips, a shy smile lingering. I turned back to face the road. I quickly pinched myself to see if this was real. How could this be real? But it was. I started the car, Emily buckled up, seeming to be pleased with herself for shutting me up and reminding me what we have wasn't replaceable. I pulled back on the rode and we were off again. Without thinking I took my right hand off the steering wheel and it met with Emily's.

It seemed only as if a few moments had passed before I saw the house in the distance. As I started to pull into the driveway, I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. I had my girl, and all was well.

We unbuckled and stepped into the icy cold night. All the lights in the house were off. I double checked to make sure my gun was in my holster and looked over at Emily.

"Let's do this quickly so we can head back to the motel," she winked at me.

"Works for me," I replied excited for what I thought was going to be a romantic evening.

We walked towards the door, and before I knocked Emily turned to me and said, "The team knows. You know that already, I know you do. But the way Morgan and Rossi looked at us when we left the diner, that answered my questions as well," Emily stated. She looked relieved to get it off her chest.

I nodded in reply, not really knowing what to say. Keep your mind focused, I kept trying to remind myself. My head was a million miles away though, at least it seemed that way. I knocked on the door and heard a crash from inside.

Emily looked over at me and without speaking a word we knew what to do. My hand went to the doorknob, freezing at the touch but it was unlocked. We entered the house and right away knew something was wrong. A pool of blood was in the front room, but no bodies were seen. Emily already had her gun out and ready, and I quickly followed. My heart was beating so loudly I thought Emily might've been able to hear it. My eyes scanned all around as we made our way through the first room.

"I'll go this way. We'll cover more ground apart," I told Emily. She looked at me, her face disagreeing but she nodded.

"I'll go to the right. Give Hotch a call. And JJ, be careful," she said and before I knew it, she was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

"You see what power is - holding someone else's fear in your hand and showing it to them, by Amy Tan," I read the quote off of a book lying on the bedroom desk. "Strange people," I muttered as I checked to see any trace of the family. Nothing.

The bedroom was the last place I told Emily I was going to check. I wanted to go find her, but at the moment I needed to focus on other things than my complicated life. We needed to find the Henderson's and see if they were still alive. We needed back up though, and I knew this. I walked through the hall that I had last seen Emily, and walked out the front door to try and give Hotch a call. Where was Garcia when you needed her? She'd figure out some way to zap into my phone and put some magical ju ju on it.

I walked past the car and held my cell phone high up in the air, praying for a signal of any kind. Nothing. "Crap," I swore under my breath.

"Help," a weak voice cried from behind some bushes. Without hesitation I slid my phone into my pocket and replaced my empty hand with my gun. I quickly headed over to where I heard the voice coming from. "Mrs. Henderson, is that you?" I asked. I could barely see anything in the dark. Where was my flashlight? I checked my pockets and realized I had left it in the car. I was going to have to try to use the little bit of moonlight too my benefit. After roaming around for a few minutes I finally laid eyes on what looked like a person lying flat on the ground. "Mrs. Henderson, it's me Jennifer from the FBI. I'm here with my partner Emily. We are going to get help. Do you understand me?" I tried reassuring her.

She looked at me, fear in her eyes. "It's going to be ok," I told her, but it sounded more like I was reassuring myself. I checked around us. It was dark but it didn't seem like anyone was there. Maybe they heard me coming and got scared, but I couldn't be sure. I kept the gun in one hand, peering occasionally from her body to make sure nobody was there. I knew I should tell Emily where I was, but I didn't want to yell over Mrs. Henderson and put her even more into shock. Most likely Emily wouldn't even be able to hear me from this distance.

What was taking Emily so long? Had she found Mr. Henderson and was waiting for me to come to her? The wind was picking up and I could barely feel my fingers anymore. I looked back down and could make out the whites of Mrs. Henderson's eyes opening in fear. Her mouth was open like she was trying to say something. "What is it?" I asked her, but it was too late. Something cold hit the side of my head and everything went black.

"What did you do to JJ? If you hurt her I swear I will kill you," Emily threatened the man.

"Oh and how do you plan on doing that Emily Prentiss? You think you can beat me? You think you are that good of an aim that you won't hit her? Go ahead, try. You can't, can you? The slight chance that you could miss and hit your _friend_," he paused for a second quickly darting his eyes around the room, then brought them back to me and continued, "well it's just too great. I won't hurt her, I promise. I just want to take you." I didn't know what to believe, but I knew I couldn't risk it. He was right. She was my weakness, and my greatest strength.

Hands, I felt hands on my body. Was someone holding me? They smelt of tobacco and cheap cologne. The person was speaking, directing his voice to someone else.

"Put the gun down. Good girl. That wasn't so hard now, was it?" the man said. He laid me down on the ground and slowly walked over to Emily. A moment later I heard something fall to the ground, and I could only assume it was Emily's dead body.

My chest was hurting from my heart beating so rapidly. A tear fell from my eyes, and I prayed that the man didn't see it. I squeezed my eyes shut. It was the only thing keeping me from seeing what he had done to her and losing it completely.

I can't do this, I can't. I wasn't strong enough. What would Emily do? She would suck it up, and do what the job demanded. If I showed him I was awake it was all over. I couldn't beat him, especially now that he could have Emily's gun.

Where was he? I listened for footsteps and heard them come my way. Cold hands grabbed my body and picked me up. A chilled breeze hit my face, but I barely noticed it. I was concentrated on being unconscious, trying not to make any sudden movements, not breathing too hard, nothing to give me away that I was slipping in and out of consciousness...

Next thing I knew I was in the back of some vehicle and my hands were tied tightly together by a rope. My curiosity got the best of me and I opened one eye, just enough so I could try to make out who was in the vehicle. I saw a figure with dark hair, but they looked blurry. I closed my eyes, trying to get myself to focus, and then I opened them again. There she was, Emily was lying unconscious next to me. She had blood running down her head, from where I could only assume the man had hit her. Was she alive? Oh god if he had killed her I swear I will make him suffer…

My thoughts were broken by a small noise coming from Emily's mouth. She was breathing. At least I won't be alone, I thought bitterly.

What was he planning on doing to us? It was obvious now that this had all been a set-up to get me here, but what did Emily have to do with this, unless he somehow knew should would come with me. My head was throbbing, but I needed to try and remember what the little bit of profile we had managed to put together said. He is a narcissist who seemed to kill women out of anger. He is intelligent and good with covering his tracks, but the town is small and surrounded by woods and most of the people lived far apart from one another, which is why when the victims were tortured nobody heard them scream. All of the victims had been women, blonde or brunette, but the brunettes seemed to suffer the most pre mortem.

We had walked right into his trap, both fitting the descriptions perfectly. Why had I been so stupid? I should've told them that Mrs. Henderson sounded weird on the phone, but all I could think about at that time had been getting away from the team, and then Emily came with me and…it didn't matter now. Somebody got into the driver's seat and started the car. We were trapped, and even if I wanted to I couldn't escape. It was a useless cause.

A radio went off in the car as we were driving to our death. "I got them both. You'll like Emily. And J.J- she is even more perfect than on the tv," the man's voice sounded almost excited. Another voice replied but I couldn't make it out. He had a partner?

The van hit something on the road and it caused my body to bounce up and hit the floor hard. I let out a small shriek of pain and quickly held my breath hoping he hadn't heard me. Before I realized what was happening the back doors were open and he was seeing which one of us had made the sound. He crawled over me and turn me over to face him. I tried to kick him off, with what little strength I had in me, but he just smiled and held my arms down. He pulled out a small needle from his pant pocket and flicked it. "This will only hurt a bit," he purred at me as he stuck me in my arm. Next he pulled tape over my mouth. My body was slowly losing feeling. Was I dying? I stared at him helplessly, screaming as loud as I could until I could no longer feel my mouth. I tried to stay awake, but I couldn't keep my eye lids open. In only a few seconds I was gone.


	7. Chapter 7

Right. Left. Right. Left. My muscles stung with every movement, but there seemed to be no end to my punishment. After a while my brain stopped concentrating on what I was actually doing. Right. Left. No stopping, must keep the motion or else I am going to get her killed. It was almost like a dance, as soon as I got the rhythm I just let it happen. I was sick for thinking of it like this, but what other choice did I have? After she had lost consciousness I begged them to make me stop. They said nothing, but I heard the click of a gun. It wasn't time yet. My knuckles were stained in her blood, and a few splatters had fallen on my face. Finally I felt hands reach up around me. They clawed at me to get off, words were being screamed at me, but I couldn't stop. Deep down I thought if she died right here, right now, at least she wouldn't have to deal with them anymore. I'd take my punishment. I'd suffer in bliss. The hands grabbed a hold of me this time, nails digging into my skin, and pulled me off of JJ. I was still punching the air when I landed on the floor, hard. I couldn't get up, I didn't want to get up, or move, or see what I had done to her. I wanted to stay on the cold ground, lie there and make it my grave. I stared at my hands; the hands covered in my lover's blood, and felt my stomach turn. The voices of the men were starting to hurt my ears.  
What did they want from me now? Why wouldn't they just let me die? I felt like I could will myself to die right now. To let go of everything. Why won't they just kill me already? I failed at protecting JJ. Worse, if she lived, how was I ever going to face her again? Every good moment would be met with the memory of me beating her senseless. Hearing her screams echo through the walls. At the end of the day, I hurt her the most, not him. Me. "She's alive, barely," "I ain't see nobody go for that long. Dad she beats up a woman better than you or I ever have." "It's cause she thinks she has a dick. She's..." He mumbled something else, but I couldn't understand him. "Help me take her down," he continued.

"What about Emily?" The boy asked. The father spit on the ground, I'm sure rolling his eyes at his son's question. What about me? He knew exactly what I was going to do.

"Get the hell over here," he barked. The son quickly joined his father, and I heard the sound of chains moving.

"Wait. Pull her up. I want her to see this," he ordered at his son. Again footsteps came towards me, and I was quickly and forcibly dragged out of my own little sanctuary. My body went limp as he touched me, moving my head up, straightening my back. He became the puppet master and I the puppet. His legs squeezed around my shoulders. His hand, I have no doubt on purpose, crawled up my breasts and found its way onto my face where he grabbed under my jaw and turned me towards…who was that?

A limp body hung from a set of chains. The shackles around the hands were the only thing keeping this person from falling to the ground. The blonde hair was the only thing recognizable about her body. Her face was swollen and bloody. What I wouldn't give to see those blue eyes twinkling right now.

"Stop it. Please I don't want to look anymore," I tried to shake the boy off me, but he was strong and wasn't budging.

"Don't like what you see? Or is it the opposite? Are you, perhaps, turned on by what you did? It is quite a masterpiece. All those years getting in the minds of the most sick and twisted people out there, and look, you yourself are one of the worst. Not only is she your friend, but you love her, don't you?"

He caressed JJ's face. My stomach was getting sick watching him touch her.

"I mean look at her? When you made me hit her because of your insolence, it caused me pain. You went on for hours, and then when we told you to stop, you kept going. Because you couldn't stop. You wouldn't. You liked it, being in control, seeing the blood, having an audience. You felt something," he licked his lips, so proud to be the one to be revealing my true nature to me. "You're just like us, just another psychotic person that your team will analyze. See this, this is only a taste of what you are capable of. The worst kind of evil, is the one you didn't even know you had," he finished his rant at me, smirking the whole time, proud at what he had "taught" me.

Finally he unshackled JJ. I looked down at the ground, trying to focus my eyes on something else. The room was spinning, and I couldn't make out what he was saying anymore. I hope it had worked, that he was not going to kill her. No, this had only killed me.

A softer voice was speaking, very low and almost crying. It was her, she was awake. I looked up and my stomach turned again. He was holding her.

"Is it…over?" her words came across like knives. I had frightened her; I had showed her what I was capable of. I had become the enemy all on my own. I had her blood on my hands, not him. Me.

"Yes don't worry, I've got you." He lifted her up and started walking up the stairs. "Thank you," she whispered. Her eyes searched the room until she found me. As soon as she saw me on the floor her eyes shut tightly and she started to shake.

"I'll keep you away from her," the man promised her. He turned back, and looked directly into his son's eyes. "Do your worst kid," and then they were gone.


	8. Chapter 8

I once pictured how I would die. I always assumed it would be through a courageous act or some unsub would outsmart me, just once. Last month, the first time JJ spent the night at my place, that vision changed. I was no longer going to die alone, in some dark alley, lying helpless on the ground as my mind faded away. I dreamt that I was old, a thought that had never come to me before, and I was holding her hand. We were together, and it was beautiful. A tear rolled down my face as the unforgiving image of reality came into view. The sunshine was gone. JJ was gone. My life was about to be over.

Jacob paced back and forth, his movement almost seeming to be a sign of peril. "Can't do it without daddy to guide you?"  
"Shut your mouth. I am quite competent on my own. Who do you think smashed all those skulls of the brunettes you and your team found? Not that old man," he stopped pacing, and started pulling off his belt.  
"Tell me something, Emily. Are all women whores? High school seems that way. As soon as you walk on campus every girl is wearing clothes that don't fit, shorts that barely hide their bush. But as soon as you start to touch them, they slap you off; scold you for being a pervert. That doesn't seem right, you know? If they want you to see, then they want you to go into them. I know they do. All the girls I felt up, they all get nervous and excited. I taunt them, I tease them, I tell them how ugly they are, but they don't tell me to stop. They let me do it," he boasted.  
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. How many girls had he abused?  
"What is it then? You're a profiler, profile these sluts. Do they have daddy issues or what?" He questioned me, now pulling out a knife from his pocket. I lied on the ground, not knowing whether to move or just let him do whatever it was he was going to do. I didn't want to play these stupid games. I wanted to feel the pain I had caused her.  
"Every girl is different. Some might have daddy issues, some might have mommy issues. What do you call a boy who has to tie down a woman to beat her? A man?" I egged him on. He came over and kicked me in the stomach. I collapsed on the ground. "I'll take that as a no then." I managed a laugh as he kicked me again.  
"Have it your way. You know what; my dad told me something about you. When we were doing our own little research, we found some files on what happened to you in La Plata County, with that cult. What was it again that you told him, Cyrus I think his name was?"  
How did they know about that? What did his father do for a living to be able to access those papers? My stomach, already in a great deal of pain, turned thinking about that. I had almost lost Reid then, but I sacrificed myself to save him. I had done everything to make sure he wouldn't get hurt. Now look at where I was. I hadn't been able to save JJ, not without hurting her. Fine, I'll play at this game then.  
"I said I can take it."

"Sweet music to my ears. Say it again," he begged.  
"I can-"  
"NO. Not like that. Get up. That's right, get right in my face. You're kind of cute when your face is all bloodied up. Stand up against the pole. Good girl."  
"Wait no. I have a better idea. Let's change the scenery a bit. Get over there where your girlfriend was. Just wipe the blood off. Isn't this better," He put his hand on the metal. "It's still warm from her hands. Looks like this will be the closest you'll get to her now." He walked behind me and his hands felt for my shirt buttons. "Why don't we let them breathe for a bit?" he said as he ripped my shirt off. I couldn't see his face, but I could feel him breathing on my neck. Before I placed my hands in the cuffs he licked them clean. "You missed a spot. Do all fags taste this good?" He licked his lips as he locked me up.  
"I want you to beg for mercy. I get that you won't, not very easily. Don't you worry; I won't be ending your life today. I plan on keeping you as a pet for as long as I can, if dad changes his mind. He has plans..." he smiled at me. Hanging from the shackles was painful. My arms were already sore from earlier, and my stomach was throbbing still from him kicking me. He had a knife and his belt. Hopefully those were it. I had a feeling he could do a lot of things with those two objects.

"Say it!"

"I can take it!" I muttered. My voice was already cracking. I pressed my lips together as hard as I could, but it didn't stop the screams from escaping. My tongue was bleeding from my teeth grinding down on it. I swallowed the blood, the moisture feeling good as it slid down my throat. It felt like I hadn't had water in days.

At one point my legs buckled under the pain. My body was being held up by solely the chains. The cuffs were digging into my skin and I watched as the blood trickled down my arms.

I must have shouted I can take it almost a dozen times before my throat stopped making sounds. My screams were no longer muffled from my grated teeth. Again and again the leather split my skin, some right on top of other bleeding wounds I was sure. My back was raw now, and I anticipated the sound of the belt and flinched, but nothing happened.

I heard footsteps, but I couldn't see him. He came in front of me, holding two glasses of what looked like water. "I have a game for you. One of these glasses holds water, the other is alcohol. You choose correctly and I won't pour the alcohol down your back. You choose incorrectly, and well, you know what happens. You're a smart girl. So what is it? Right or left?"

My lips were glued together by blood. Right or left? I'd already made one wrong choice today. My eyes could barely concentrate on the glasses. Right or left? The words repeated in my head, the same way as when I was striking JJ.

I put my tongue against my lips to try and moisten them. I slowly pried them apart and tried to answer, but instead I only managed to let out a tiny squeak. Right, that's what I'm choosing. Both containers looked exactly the same to me. It didn't matter either way.

"Rrr-rrri," I managed to choke out. My voice was raspy and it stung to make any noise at all.

"Right? You sure about your choice? Alright let's do a taste test then," he grinned as he set down the cup in his left hand and brought the other up to my mouth.

"Drink up, my sweet Emily," he purred, as he forced my mouth open and poured the liquid down my throat. As soon as it touched my lips, I knew immediately that I had chosen incorrectly. My lips burned, but that was nothing in comparison to the agony that my throat felt. I spit it out, but that didn't stop the pain.

"Emily, I'm afraid you chose incorrectly. Before you ask, yes one of them did have water in it, but I guess you'll never know. This might sting a bit. Don't scream too much or you'll make me hard," he divulged.

No, please no. I wanted to beg him not to, but I couldn't. If it stung anywhere close to my throat, I was in for a painful time. He didn't give me enough time to blink before he threw the contents of the glass down my blistering back.

The noise that came out of my mouth scared me. My feet squirmed underneath me. My arms flung to try to escape the pain, but I wasn't going anywhere. My body's response was to run, to try and hide from this, but it was impossible. My body shook uncontrollably, convulsing in every-which-way and my brain was screaming at me. I could feel the alcohol seeping into each wound. It was like a lemon squirting on an open wound; only the usual scratch of a wound was my entire back. I could feel and could even hear over my screeches the sizzling of my back. It burned as if I had been set on fire.

When my vision slowly started to come back from the bright light, I realized my throat was no longer making that piercing screeching. My face was covered in my tears, and although the bleeding had most certainly stopped, the puss coming out of the welts was not a pleasant feeling.

When my ears stopped ringing, I thought I could make out Jennifer's voice from above me. She sounded mad, but why? I don't know why she'd feel anything for me now.

My mind was concentrating on blocking out the throbbing of my back. I felt light headed now; surprised I hadn't passed out yet. I still don't know what hurt more. I tried staring at the light, watching it swing slowly, back and forth. My body was limp, and I knew I didn't have an ounce of strength left in me. I was as good as dead, body and soul.

After all of this, I still felt like it wasn't enough. I could be bleeding to death on the floor in my own blood and that wouldn't be enough for me. I somehow managed to get enough blood and spit in my mouth to swallow, in hopes that the words would sound audible.

"I can take it," I whispered as loudly as I could. He came face to face with me, not truly believing what he heard. My body was shaking, but I managed to grin at him.

I spit out the blood in my mouth on the floor below his feet. I slowly moved my own feet so they were under my body and not relying entirely on my cuffs for support. I tried to sound more confidant with this one. "Is that all you've got?" And those were my famous last words.


	9. Chapter 9

The smell of bacon and fresh coffee drifted down to the basement. Having already released all of the contents in my stomach, the smell was almost a relief, giving the room a pleasant odor rather than that of my vile and blood. At least JJ was getting food. He would never let his son touch her like he had me. The door opened bringing in a small glimmer of sunlight and warmth. How long had we been here now? It was hard keeping track with the days when I was constantly in and out of being conscious and passing out.

JJ stood at the doorway clean and smiling. She had a plate in her hand and was talking to someone behind her. She glided in shutting the door. She was all alone, nobody tagging along. She walked down to where I was and frowned at the puddle below her feet. "Are you hungry?" She asked softly, but something in her voice made me scared. Strangely food was the last thing on my mind. My stomach felt nauseous and I didn't want to throw anything else up, but I knew I needed something substantial. I opened my mouth to speak but a hoarse sound came out. I nodded in reply. As if she was a mother caring for her sick child, JJ started feeding me, coursing me to eat the whole plate but never forcing me. The thought of a child reminded me yet again of something I could never give her. I would never be good enough for her.

She didn't really speak; nothing of substance anyway. She just asked me questions on the food. I ended up drinking almost a liter of water. My throat felt almost human again from screaming so much. After eating the last bit of food on the plate I felt more alive and alert than I had in what seemed like forever. I wanted to say something but I couldn't gather my thoughts. I looked at her face, while she stood there waiting, and then I noticed it for the first time. She looked in pain. She was standing but favoring her right side. Her face was still a bit swollen and purple from the number I had done on her. I turned away, feeling sick to my stomach again. Oh great. I didn't want to look at her anymore, and I especially didn't want her to see me throw up. Why wouldn't they just let me suffer in silence? Why feed me? She looked like she was going to speak but I needed her to leave. "Thanks," I choked out. It hurt, but not as much as looking at her and seeing what I had done.

"Emily…" she was interrupted by the man coming in. "Jacob and I are headed off. I'll be back soon, don't worry. Love you, dear," he kissed JJ on her lips. "Don't do anything stupid. I don't know what I'd do without you," he confessed. She gave him a smile, and a kiss on the cheek. "And you know where the towels are. God it reeks down here," he stated, and left us alone. I listened for the door to slam, and heard two engines start up. They were gone.

What was going on? How long had I been out for all of this to happen? They were kissing now? He trusted her to be alone? Wait a second, I must be dreaming. Yes, that makes sense. I tried to crawl away from JJ, dragging a red stain across the floor from my own blood. I only made it a few inches before I collapsed.

The blonde figure came over to me, and tried to help me up. With all my power I pushed her away. She wasn't my JJ. "Leave me alone. Don't you dare touch me. You're not really her. This isn't real…" I managed to say before everything went black again.

For the next few hours I was coming in and out of reality, or what I thought must have been real. She was bending over me, the most beautiful person I had ever seen. Her blonde hair pulled back into a tight ponytail, and her big blue eyes staring down at me. I felt a drop of water fall on my face. Was the cellar leaking? No. It was coming from her.

My back still felt raw, but better than the last time I had been awake. I had a different pair of clothing on. She was humming, this goddess that was taking care of me. I felt hungry again, now remembering that I had thrown up after eating all of that food.

"Hey you. Feeling any better?" The person asked. Her voice sounded so familiar.

"Uh huh," I replied. "He carved me up like a jack-o-lantern," I let out, slightly wanting her to feel sorry for me. For the first time, I wanted someone to take care of me, even if this was just a dream. I had lost so much already, that this little moment couldn't hurt.

"Em, I saw… I had to give you a few stitches. Your back was a bit harder to clean up. What did he do to you?" She inquired. Em? Nobody called me that except for _her_.

"You- you kissed him. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to ever look at you. I can't.." tears were streaming down my face. I hadn't cried like this in such a long time. I was angry, I was hurt, I was so very confused. Nothing was right anymore. Everything was all messed up.

"I get it. Do whatever it is you want to do. The JJ I knew, the one I loved, she's gone. Just like I am gone. I can't even look at you without wanting to kill myself. But I couldn't lift a gun to shoot myself in the head even if I wanted to. I am nothing. You get that? Whatever you are doing down her, fixing me up, I don't want it. I don't need you. Just leave me here to die. Go screw that man. I don't care anymore," I choked out. She looked me in the eyes, and all I felt was hatred. Did I mean what I had just said? I needed her to hate me. Why wouldn't she hate me? I didn't want any sympathy from her. I didn't want her to take care of me. I just wanted to be left alone. To die in this hole that I had put myself in.

I couldn't tell if she was holding back tears or not, but her body was slightly trembling. "As you wish. I promise not to bother you again. Some things are just not meant to be," JJ forced out, the words sounding bitter. The door slammed shut behind her, and once again I was left with the only companion being the light above me. I laid on my back, finding a surface that wasn't covered in my own bile. I listened for the quiet. I had just lost her now, I knew that. I thought I would feel good about this moment, after what I had done to her, but instead I felt empty. My heart ached.

This was my punishment. For the rest of my life, no matter how short or long it may be I was going to be a tortured soul. Strange how words can hurt more than a belt; more than a knife…. I laughed. It was inappropriate, but I couldn't stop laughing. I realized it now, after everything, I was just as weak as anyone else. I wasn't special. He had shown me that, not through the physical pain, but through my actions. I had lost. I had been broken.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

When I got home early from work, I knew JJ and I would have about an hour of alone time. As soon as I entered the house, my heart fell. I didn't see her at all. What if she had left when I was gone? Was it too soon to give her so much freedom?

My worries washed away when I ran to the back of the house and saw her throwing towels into the washing machine. I could smell them from a few feet away, and knew that they were from Emily. My stomach twitched at the thought of her name. I had only hoped my son had made her suffer enough for her actions. No pain seemed too great for her.

I had to play it carefully though. If I seemed too anxious about what had happened when I was gone, she might get overwhelmed. I had to play innocent of the whole matter. "How bad of shape is she in?" I asked, startling JJ. She jumped back, not having heard me enter the room.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," I responded.

"No, no problem. I guess I didn't hear you. She's alive, barely" JJ replied, her feet shifting under her. What did she mean by that? Maybe she was just saying the truth, but I couldn't put all my eggs in one basket now. I had put too much time into this. I tried my best to hide my feelings at that phrase. What, was I expecting for her to change in the small amount of time that I had had her? I needed to know what she was thinking.

"JJ, how did it feel bathing her? Fixing her up?"

JJ threw the last towel into the machine and shut the top. She turned around to face me, her expression hard. "Nothing. Not sorrow or anger at your son. I just felt nothing," she swallowed hard, and he knew she was being honest with him. She was fighting back tears because it was hitting her, the truth. I had made the right decision.

Now it was time to comfort her, to fill that void she was feeling. "There is nothing wrong with that. What she did to you was inexcusable. She is the one who almost killed you. You helped her because that's the kind of person you are," I reassured her.

She stood in place, pondering what I had said. She turned around and pushed the washing machine on. The room vibrated with the sounds of water and the towels turning. It was nice to have someone do the housework. It was a woman's job, and I was never any good at it.

She let out a sigh, and again turned to face me. "What am I supposed to feel? For the longest time I really thought I knew Emily. I didn't realize that she had it in her too-" she placed her hand over the bruise right below her right eye. She flinched at the first touch and quickly put her arm back down.

JJ had to look in the mirror and see that face, see the bruises from Emily every day. Was it time for me to show my weakness, to tell my story? We were already close to each other, how could it hurt? I had been her savior, saving her from the grasps of death. The act of mercy on my point, mirroring what she had done for Emily, waiting on her until she could sit up by herself without crying in pain, that's the man I wanted her to think I could be. A man she could bring out with her gentle touch, her healing words.

She had let me kiss her in front of Emily, the first intimate interaction we had experienced, and I had felt her come closer to me. She hadn't hesitated or looked away in shame. Emily face had turned green as if she was going to be sick again, but strangely that wasn't the best part for me. Kissing JJ passionately had been worth it all, for those few seconds. It sickened me to think of how soft I was becoming. I was a lion, a man, and men did not weep or let women control them with their mouths or bodies, however lovely they may be. Men were kings and ruled, and with JJ it would be nothing less than that, no matter how her beauty and smile made my insides feel.

Was it time to tell her my story? I think she was finally ready to know how this all came to be. It might just be the last push, showing my weakness to her. Then she would be mine.

"JJ, follow me," I motioned to her and she obeyed, following me into my bedroom. I pulled back the curtains and cracked open the window just enough to let a cool breeze in. If she didn't want to get next to me because of the chill, then at least I'd be able to see her nipples get hard.

The room had no decoration in it, just the necessities, except for a singular picture sitting on the night stand. As if by a puppet string, she glided over to the picture and picked it up. This was going to be too easy.

"She's beautiful," JJ remarked at the woman in the picture. Not as beautiful as you, JJ. I sighed, and sat beside her on the bed. Looking at the picture still brought up so many mixed emotions. It's strange to see me smile, and holding Jacob as a baby, and being with _her_, the woman who showed me who I really was.

"I thought so too. We were high school sweethearts, so happy and care free, but then I knocked her up," I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. I looked down at my hands and noticed that they were in fists already. Come on, I can do this. I need to do this. She waited patiently for me to continue, her face glistening from the sunlight being brought in through the window. JJ, my poor little angel.

"So, as the man I am, and was back then, I asked her to marry me. We had a small ceremony, only a few friends and her parents. Mine had abandoned me long before that. Everything seemed so perfect, until the baby was born. Her parents' house quickly became too crowded with me and the screaming baby taking up too much room, so they kicked us out. We managed to get a small place for cheap rent until I was able to get a job. I tried so hard, I went out every morning, went to every store, big and small, every business in town, but everywhere was either already full or wouldn't hire me because of my reputation. We lived in a small town, and word traveled fast.

"She had to go out and get work. I stayed home with Jacob. Do you know what that was like? I was 18. I didn't know how to be a father, nor a husband. And the fact that my wife was the one to be bringing home the money, I was humiliated. What kind of a man was I?

"I started drinking and we got into the worst fights. A year went by and she was never home. Jacob didn't even recognize her. Then one day I put it together. She must've been cheating on me. When I confronted her she denied it. I pushed her to the ground, demanding to know who she was screwing, telling her I was going to kill that bastard," I stopped and tried to regain my demeanor.

My heart was beating fast. The memory was still fresh in my mind. It had been years ago, but I could still picture it all, her outfit, what we had for dinner that night, and Jacob screaming in the background. I hadn't even noticed JJ place her hand on mine to help calm me down. I gave her a reassuring squeeze and started up again.

"She didn't cry, but instead rose up to tell me right to my face. How she could have the nerve- Anyway she told me that she had been going to college and also working a second job on the side to pay for it. She was going to have a career she said, and get out of this place. She went to comfort Jacob, and after passing out that night, when I woke she was gone, along with all of her things. She just left us, and for what? Some business suit and a briefcase?"

The words sounded like venom now. I couldn't hold in my rage any longer. I sat up from the bed, fearing that I might hurt JJ. I turned away from her, my insides feeling as if they were on fire. How one singular person can cause so much pain and fury that it makes me wish I had made her suffer more. She hadn't deserved the quick death I had granted her.

"She was in the wrong. You didn't deserve that. Especially Jacob when he was so young. Did you…were you able to find her?" I felt her hands go around my waste to hold me. This was what a woman's purpose was, to help, to comfort, to bake and clean. I let her hold me, just the two of us, no one could ruin this except the woman below our feet.

I pulled away from JJ when I thought about Emily, that vile thing that was in the way. A man would have been much easier to get rid of, but women, they hold a different bond. She had ruined JJ, turned her into some slut that sleeps with women. JJ might be mine in some form now, but I still would need to punish her for her sins.

I smiled and turned to her. "Yes, I found her. She was my first… kill. She had a husband and a daughter, but I knew they were thanking me for what I had done. I don't think they even knew her really. You know what she taught me? Women shouldn't have power like that, because it makes them think they are man's equal. Women are supposed to stay at home, something that I know eats at you. You can't be a married women, have kids, if you're working all the time. It's not right to leave your family every day, to not be able to tell them what you see. I was helping those families," I opened up. I had told her everything now, everything worth knowing. I swore under my breath and swung at the wall. My knuckles started bleeding and JJ came over to see if I was alright.

"It's fine. You see what happens. Look at Jacob. He needed a mother. People like Emily are all the same. They are only living for themselves, for what they want and desire, no matter who becomes collateral damage," I said.

JJ nodded, agreeing with what I had said. She still held my hand when she replied. "He has a mother now." I smiled knowing she was all mine.


	11. Chapter 11

Jacob came storming in the house, the door slamming behind him. He was panting and was speaking too fast to comprehend. Why did he have to come home early today? I stepped away from JJ and went to see what was going on. "What are you doing home? School get out early?" I asked, annoyed that he had ruined my alone time. I had specifically told him to stay away for as long as he could. Why could he never listen to me?

Jacob's eyes shifted from JJ to me. He still didn't trust her, but he would learn to accept her as his mother. She had been the best one I had taken home for him. All the others had just been to prove that he hadn't been missing out on his mother. They begged for me to kill them in the end, after I made them understand what horrible mothers they really were.

Jacob was trembling. What was wrong with him? "They- umm- the…their team. They were at, uh, at my school. I didn't know what to do so I, uh, I left and drove home," he flinched in fear of what I was going to do to him.

"You moron! Did they see you? It doesn't matter now; they are too close for me. If they followed you home, I swear I will-" I couldn't finish my sentence. I was fuming. The son who could bash someone's brains in sure didn't have any of his own.

JJ looked at me, as if asking for permission for her to speak. I nodded, hoping that she could make some sense of this boy in front of me. She was going to be his mother after all, and this would be great practice for her. I needed time to think about what we were going to do now anyway. I hadn't prepared for it to happen so soon. I had other things planned…

"It's going to be okay Jacob. Go in the fridge and pour yourself some of the lemonade I made this morning, and sit down. You're going to wear a hole in the ground if you keep pacing back and forth like that. Mitch…" she started, but didn't know what to say. Jacob obeyed her orders and finally stopped moving.

The three of us were going to be happy together. For a second I could see the future, our home, and even the family portraits. Everything was just how it should be. When I came back into the moment I got a bitter taste in my mouth. I noticed JJ glance towards the cellar door. Emily. Had I completely forgotten about her? It seems JJ hadn't. I needed her gone.

"We seem to have a problem; one I think is bigger than your team coming to your rescue. Emily is still alive, and that should end right now, unless-" I knew it was always going to come down to this, these two options. Kill her or leave her alive. In made me grin thinking of what would happen if we didn't kill her. She would lie awake at night, fearing that my son would finish the job, and she would wake up to an empty bed, night after night, knowing that JJ picked me.

"-unless we leave her here. As much as I would like to end her life, watch while she begs for forgiveness, I think that's what she wants. Besides, your team will be distracted by the fact that we left her alive, and she would have the unfortunate task of telling them that you went willingly with us. You chose me," I smirked. This was the perfect way to end my terror. What would their diagnosis be for us after this ending to the massacre? I'd like to see them analyze me now.

I liked my idea. It had a perfect twist to it. If only I could see their faces when they came here. When I finally sleep with JJ, it would be even better knowing that Emily was torturing herself every moment. And having JJ's team realize that she left with an unsub, the people that they search for day after day trying to "save" this sick world from the likes of me, well that would just be the perfect topping.

"No," JJ's voice startled me. "No, she doesn't deserve that. She doesn't get to live. I'll never be able to truly move on until she's dead. I'll never be able to be with you 100 percent. She'll control me, just like you showed me she had been this whole time. I know she won't give up on finding me. She'll always be my weak spot. Let me kill her," JJ looked ferocious. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but I knew what she meant. I couldn't move on with my life until I had killed my wife myself.

I took out the gun from my pocket and emptied out the bullets, leaving only one. I wanted to believe this was really her so badly, but I didn't want to chance it. She could shoot me out of anger for being so merciful towards Emily. I didn't mean to look so pathetic in front of her.

Jacob got out of his chair and almost knocked his lemonade glass over. "Dad, please, you told me I could keep her," he whined.

"Shut up. She is getting what she deserves," I answered him. He was about to say something else, but I cut him off by kicking him to the ground. "I'll get you someone better. Don't make another sound," I ordered, and he remained on the ground, his head staying down, trying to hide his whimpering from me. Hopefully JJ would give me a son who would listen to me and not talk back, and would have some brains on him as well.

I handed her the gun. It looked so big in her hand. Her eyes seemed to glimmer with something I had never seen before. She wanted this more than I did. For a moment I saw a piece of me in her. I barely thought about how she could kill me right now, with that single bullet. All that I could see was how much she wanted this.

She started heading to the basement door. I didn't follow. I didn't need to see it happen. She wasn't doing it for my pleasure; she was doing it for herself.

The door closed behind her and I listened for her footsteps. The stairs creaked under her feet. Every moment seemed to pass so slowly. My heart was beating quickly in anticipation. JJ was mine. I had made her mine. I knew her training wasn't done with, but now I only had to work on the little things. She would be obedient in every way. She would stay at home, cook my food, and be the perfect wife and mother. Jacob and I deserved that much for all the good we had done for those families, and killing all those whores.

How long had it been? Seconds or minutes? I looked over at Jacob and his face was raised up and staring at the door. We both seemed to be in a trance, waiting, listening. Was that yelling I heard? I couldn't tell. I held my breath, but I didn't know if my mind was playing tricks on me.

Then it came. A muffled scream from Emily, her yelling "_do it, do it_," and then there was a second of silence before the gun went off. The shot echoed through the house. JJ had killed Emily.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

When JJ emerged from the basement door her face and shirt were sprinkled with red spots. Emily's blood. I could hardly control myself as she walked towards me. I wanted to take her on the table right now, and make her mine over Emily's rotting flesh.

I could smell the blood on her and it gave me such a euphoric feeling. I licked my lips, wanting to take off what remained of that bitch from JJ.

She dropped the gun a few feet away from me and stood still.

"Cloth. Cloth with water," I choked out and Jacob went to fetch it for me. Stop it, not now. We don't have time for my fantasies. We had to leave, get out before they came for us. We were all going to jail if we were caught now.

They couldn't stop me now though. I'd kill every last one of them if it meant I could be with JJ. No one was getting in our way. I had considered putting a stop to killing people for JJ, but maybe the two of us could be the next Bonnie and Clyde. We could travel the country, going on murder rampages, not having a care in the world. We'd screw whenever we felt like it. But we had Jacob to worry about.

He came in with a wet cloth and handed it to me. I walked over to JJ and gently wiped her face, making sure I didn't touch any of her bruises. These were the last few remnants of Emily that I was wiping away. She'd soon be part of our past, as soon as we were on the road, away from this place.

JJ was a wild one, a woman who had drive and power and was unpredictable. Why did that make me love her more? I hated women like that, but I didn't want to take that away from JJ. If I did, she would be a mindless slave that wouldn't question anything; she'd lose the fierceness in her. I'd destroy the woman she could be capable of being with my help. She was so close to being just like me that I could taste it.

When I was done I cupped my hands around her face and kissed her lightly. She smiled shyly, and I felt something almost fluttering in my stomach. Damn her for being so beautiful and making me weak like this.

"I'm sorry for looking like this in front of you," she whispered to me.

"Don't be. It's –" I wanted to say it's because of your gender, you're all weak, but I couldn't put myself to say it. "Was she your first?" I tried to change the subject, even though I already knew the answer to my question.

"My first wom- oh you mean kill. No she wasn't. I shot someone else actually," JJ answered.

"Wait until you cut someone's throat or stab them in the chest. The warm blood drips to the ground, covers your hands. You watch as the person slowly slips away. It's more satisfying than sex," I admitted.

"Yeah, well, that's not really my cup of tea. With her, I had to do it. It had to be done. I finally feel-"

"-free," I finished her sentence for her. Two kills now, but she needed just one more before she could understand the taste for blood.

"Ahh, of course. Who am I to judge you, after all you are just like her really. Hiding behind a badge and gun, fighting everyone else's demons but never able to face your own. I didn't want to admit it either, that I was someone capable of such horrible crimes. Look where we are now. Do you want me for any other reason than because of what I've done or do you actually think you can fix me?

Because if it's me you want to fix, you'll have to help yourself first. You're just as broken as I am, and no matter how long the trail of blood is, it won't stop. This hunger will never be quenched. You can save a hundred lives, but that won't change what you're hiding from,"

"I am not you," JJ argued.

"What's your job? You are the person who picks which victims are more important to save. Which psychopath is causing the most chaos in a town. You look at the pictures of all those dead people, the women and children, all the families. What kind of sick person does that if they don't get something out of it? What, do you get some satisfaction from stopping them? There is always someone worse around the corner. Tell me, do you like getting in our heads? Do you tell yourself how we aren't the same? In order to get me, sweetheart, you have to know me. You have to be worse than me, think like me. So no, don't tell me you aren't a killer because you have a longer list of names than I do,"

JJ took a minute to think about what I had said. She looked so confused. "You're wrong. I don't, I haven't-"

"-no, you just lie to the public, leaving out bits of information that help catch the killer, but end up getting more people raped, tortured, you name it. How do you even sleep at night? I like the screams, they soothe me but if you aren't like me, how do you look at yourself in the mirror without wanting to end it all? Maybe I should leave you here. You're a risk. I know what I am, but you; you can't even say it,"

"Dad, we need to-"

"-I told you to be quiet. If I have to ask you again- no, wait. I have an idea. JJ, you want to prove your devotion and love to me? Kill my son," I demanded.

"What? Dad, please, I'm sorry. I didn't want any of this to happen. I know I shouldn't have left school like I did. Please, give me another chance. I can do better. Please daddy, I'm your son," Jacob cried.

"No, you're your mother's son. I did not raise you to be so spineless. Get up and face your punishment like a man. Wipe those tears away. After all I've done for you, after all the things I taught you, all the women we've killed together, and still you whine and cry," I spit out, getting more and more upset just thinking about everything he has put me through.

Jacob's tears were falling faster down his face now. His eyes were puffy and pink. He can't be my blood.

"Do it! Kill him! You want to, I know. Emily might be dead now, but at some point you had some feelings for her. You have to hate Jacob for what he did. He would have done more, you know? He wanted to rip off her pants and shove himself into her, but I told him not to. That's not how you treat a lady.

So how will it be, knife or gun? You know what, no gun this time. You kill him with a knife. Use a kitchen one, they are nice and sharp. I'll hold him down," I told her but she didn't budge. Jacob was still a mess on the ground so I wasn't worried he'd run off anytime soon. I didn't have time to mess around like this. I grabbed JJ's wrist and pulled her towards the knives. Was she still not convinced?

"Pick one and get it over with. We've got to be leaving soon, and one less mouth to feed will make it a lot easier," I claimed. It would be much easier with just two people on the run.

She looked at the knives and grabbed the second biggest one. Perfect choice. I grabbed Jacob and held him into place. He finally had stopped crying but was still begging us to stop this.

"She's going to give me a son who won't cry. He will be strong and know when to shut his mouth. He'll be better than you in every way," I boasted. I wanted him to hear it, I needed him to know what he had put me through.

Jacob had only been useful in helping me with the women. He had given me a bad name when he started touching girls in school. I had never loved my son; I had only felt responsible for him. But I didn't need him anymore. He was dead weight.

JJ looked him in the eyes. He didn't try to run; he knew it wasn't any use. If she did this, she was never turning back. She was killing him for her pleasure. I didn't even care if it was because of Emily. The reason didn't matter.

She seemed to be unsure of herself now. She had the knife; she had her target, now she needed more incentive.

"Tell her what you told me. Tell her what the first words were to me when I stopped you."

Through his whimpers, he tried fighting back now, but I had a good hold on him.

"I said, I told you that she- her screams and all that blood, it made me hard. She liked it too. The harder I hit her, the more she begged for it. When she was unconscious I touched her, just for a bit before dad came in. Why did you have to kill her JJ? I wasn't finished with her ye-"

I heard the knife slide into his chest. In mere moments he was on the ground choking on his own blood. Third times a charm.


	13. Chapter 13

Broken 13

I watched as my son became engulfed in a pool of his own blood. I had expected to feel some sort of sympathy over his dead body, but nothing came. No tears, no memories flashing before my eyes. If I felt anything it was of relief and excitement.

JJ looked puzzled at the body below her and the knife in her hand. Was she confused on what just happened? Was she in shock at the sight of the boy on the ground? Her hands were covered in his blood and were slightly shaking, but she didn't take her eyes off his body for a second. The color of red suited her so well, and brought out the blue in her eyes.

"I don't think he fell on the knife. I'm surprised you didn't aim for his heart. Want him to suffer I suppose," I taunted her. I had broken Emily with her own fists and I've broken JJ with words.

"Don't look so sad, it isn't a look that suits you. Besides you probably saved a few women's lives if that makes you feel any better, not that you were thinking about them or anyone but yourself a minute ago," I said, hoping to get a look or something from her.

She was still silent. How shocking could it have been? I just helped her to prove to herself who she was. Was it the blood on her hands that disturbed her the most, or that she realized she had just taken another life and it didn't bother her at all.

I stepped away from the puddle and sat myself on the edge of the table, still facing my son and JJ. I could hear the clock ticking on the wall and knew that our time was running out to escape the FBI and the local cops, but I didn't know how long she would need to process all of this. She needed to end this now, I could feel them getting closer.

"Finish the job. He's already dead JJ. Look, he's in pain. End his cries, or else he'll tell them everything. His last breath will be telling all of our deep, dark secrets. They'll know you killed him and Emily. You'll never be free," I pleaded with her.

" Just one more. Do it for you. Get that revenge you wanted to give him. Then it will be over with and this will all be in the past. No more loose ends," I promised her. She took a step forward, the blood still dripping down from her hands.

"I beg to differ," a woman's voice startled me from behind. It was _her_.


	14. Chapter 14

Broken 14

Cold metal touched the back of my head. "You're pointing a man's own gun at him?" I questioned her, but she ignored me. She had found the shotgun that I had told Jacob to lock up before we captured them, but it seems he had ignored me. That boy really was useless.

"I'd be more worried about that girlfriend of yours than me right now. It's two against one, and I'm not getting anywhere near that one," I lied. I heard her quietly gasp as she must have looked over my shoulder and saw the bloody scene. I felt the gun move away from my head and hit the ground. Emily slowly moved past me, using the gun as support to help her walk.

I probably could've taken her out in her condition, but I still wanted to see how things played out. The odds were still in my favor. They might have a gun now but Emily looked like she was about to collapse and JJ was vulnerable.

For some reason I felt conflicted about finding out JJ had been tricking me this whole time. I had some feeling, something in the pit of my stomach that felt like betrayal. I had felt this only once before, and that was with my wife, and even now the feeling made me think that I was turning soft. Something else was there, and it seemed to be overpowering the other feeling. I felt happy; excited even that she was the mastermind behind so many things. I hated to admit it, but even I couldn't pull a ruse off that well. I wasn't creative or twisted enough to make so many people bend to my will.

It seemed I had never truly had JJ. This whole time she had been playing me, manipulating my actions. I was more angry at the fact that Emily was still alive than the fact that JJ had led me on to believe something different. I didn't even mind that there was no us anymore, because I felt a stronger bond.

This actually made things easier. It would make destroying any hope she might think she had left simple. After all, everything that had happened had been JJ's fault. I was doing her bidding, what she wanted me to do, to think, to feel. All I needed now was that gun for security purposes. I felt the bullets in my pocket and couldn't hold back the smile on my face. JJ had left the gun out in the open, just lying there on the ground.

I was going to make sure that they were the bitches now, not me. I was going to make them feel as out of control as I had been. No more playing around.

Emily's POV

When I glanced toward JJ the scene was horrifying. My eyes couldn't get off of the body lying a few feet away from her feet. It looked as if he had managed to drag his body a little bit, judging by the blood marks behind him.

JJ was still holding the knife, and it looked like she hadn't moved an inch since the stabbing happened.

I slowly started to make my way towards JJ, and right away I knew every step was going to take everything I had. I looked behind me at Mitch, but it seemed like he was in his own thoughts at the moment. I guess the shotgun silenced his mouth for a bit. I tried to take my weight off of the gun but I almost fell to the floor. My body was still in recovery and I couldn't believe I had made it this far without collapsing.

"JJ, you were right, they had a gun downstairs," I tried talking to her but she gave no response of hearing me. She probably didn't even notice I had emerged from the basement.

I knew it was dangerous and stupid to keep my back towards Mitchell, but I needed to talk to JJ, and I barely had made it this far. What had happened? This was not part of the plan she had told me before she "killed" me.

I had been the one to suggest opening a few of my cut wounds and flicking blood on her face and shirt for effect, but that was nothing compared to the amount of blood on her hands and clothing now.

Come on JJ, don't give up on me now. You were the one who got us this far, and I couldn't carry myself let alone you if I needed to. I could hardly concentrate past the pain and my emotions at seeing JJ. Everything seemed foggy.

I slowly grabbed for the knife but my movement must've startled JJ because she immediately pointed it at me in defense.

"JJ, look at me. Just look at me, please," I begged her. She blinked, just once, but her eyes met mine and she started to cry. She dropped the knife and some blood splattered over the wall and on her feet, but she didn't care. She pulled her arms around me. I bit my tongue, not wanting to reveal the pain she was causing. I just wanted to feel her. It seemed just seconds earlier when I was lying on the concrete wishing death upon myself. Now I was in her arms, and I never wanted to let her go.

"For a second I thought that maybe... I didn't know if you were ever coming out of there. I didn't, I mean it's not my fault," JJ cried.

"I know, I know. It's going to be okay. I promise," I said, but something in my stomach felt otherwise.

"Look at this happy reunion. A picture worthy moment. Should I make sure Jacob is in the photo, after all moving him at this point would be kind of a mess. JJ had a good time with that knife, you really missed out on it. I mean to stab someone and not even in self-defense. Have fun explaining that one to your team.

"Emily, does that gun make you feel all strong and powerful? What is it called? Oh right, penis envy. I get it though; you understand that you'll never be enough for her. You lack not only the parts, but the mind to understand how she thinks. You'll never truly understand who she is hiding behind that mask.

"How about we fight for her, man to man. I'm sorry, man to woman. Winner gets the crazy girl," Mitch taunted. I wanted so badly to shove this shotgun down his throat, but I was better than that. I wasn't going to break again.

"Even in my condition I could take you, but no. We won. See this gun here, see your son lying on the ground," I reminded him. JJ let go of me, seeming to shrink with every word Mitch said.

"Guns and men don't always decide the victory. But sure, yes you have defeated me. It hurts me that I didn't give you that mercy killing when you were begging me to do it. Now you get to live with her, and you don't even know what she's capable of."

I thought back to that moment. Instead of ending my life, as I had hoped he would have done, he just laughed.

"Why do you sound so confidant? You had no idea about any of this."

"Neither did you, if I recall. You want to know what JJ and I did when you were screaming below our feet? She could barely move after you beat the shit out of her, so I made a bath for her. I asked if she wanted me to leave, but she shook her head.

"She told me she was afraid, although I doubt that was true. Maybe she was afraid that Jacob would actually kill you, but as far as I've seen you're pretty replaceable. I watched as she bathed herself. I could've jumped on her, oh how I wanted to, but I resisted the urge. We just talked. The screams became music to my ears, and I swear to you not once did you make her jump or get scared. Not even when it got quiet. She made no notion of giving two cents about you," Mitchell smiled.

"What, so you think I'm supposed to think differently of her? People go undercover all the time and they do worse things." I fired back at him, trying to not lose it for JJ's sake. I needed her to know that I trusted her still.

"Yeah but that's their job. Her job is not your job, but she did it better than you. You lost it; you didn't get in my head once. But no, it was a game to her. We both got played."

I knew what he was saying wasn't true, but it was hard making an argument for JJ when her motives seemed questionable. She could have shot him, she had the bullet.

"I guess you really are someone's bitch. Look, she can't even defend herself. She's playing the part of the helpless little girl, lost in the woods. But in this fairytale you're not her knight. She's the wolf and you're the girl, so blind to everything around you. Are you happy to see my son covered in blood? I didn't see you smiling about it. Want to know how it happened? Want to know how your girl lost it? A few tiny words and she became a killer. I feel like you guys should do better check-ups on people for that kind of behavior. Doesn't really seem fitting for your line of work, but we already had a little discussion about that, didn't we JJ?"

"You stop that now. Stop talking about things that you don't understand. She is the woman I love and you will not change that, no matter what things you twist," I screamed at him. JJ was still crying, taking everything in that we were saying. I kissed her on her forehead to try and make her know that I was here to stay. I wasn't having any of his crap.

"Words, words, words. So relevant, aren't they? But for you it's all about the action, the blood pumping, heart racing moments when you're going in to catch the likes of me. We are all damaged goods, it's just some of us can't be fixed with a few pills and the right words. Sometimes people just stay broken. I can't smell the blood on you, but her breath reeks of it. The sooner she gets it, the easier it'll be. You can't fight what's inside of you. You've seen it on a case when she says something that seems just a bit off, but you push it away. Little things, that's what you're trained to notice.

Now tell me, is your girlfriend a freak like me or what? Isn't that boy evidence enough?" he asked.

My throat felt dry. Everything felt strange, and the world seemed to be turning. It wasn't her fault. He made her do it. Somehow he said something and she had to do it. She couldn't have, she wouldn't have done it if there had been another way. I knew her, for all the good and bad things, and she wasn't a killer.

My head was throbbing. I could feel the cuts on my stomach starting to break open from walking. I turned slightly and my foot slipped on the blood. I knew I couldn't catch myself, so I didn't even try. I managed to fall on my back, landing in the larger blood puddle right next to Jacob. I could feel my back getting soaked. I reached for the gun, but it wasn't anywhere near me. I tried lifting my head to see where it landed, but I couldn't move at all. I felt numb again. I waited for JJ to move towards me, to comfort me, but she didn't come. I was alone again.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's note: It's been about three months since I posted a new chapter. To say I'm sorry is such an understatement. To those who have been waiting for this, I don't know what to say. You are unbelievably patient and hopefully somewhat forgiving of my tardiness. This isn't my best writing, so I will hopefully tune it up in a few days. Thank you to those who haven't given up on me or my story yet. Enjoy!**

Broken 15

The second I thought that she had abandoned me, JJ was hovering over my body, her hair dangling over my head. "Sorry, I had to get the gun. I didn't want to take any chances," she told me.

Did my face reveal so much? While she was bent over me, she grabbed my shirt, as gently as she could with one hand, and pulled me to the wall. As I moved across the floor, I watched as the blood that I had fallen onto followed me until I stopped. I could feel it soaking my skin, and all I wanted to do was take a shower and get his scent off of me. He had been stained with my blood, and now I was covered in his.

I looked up at JJ, her body also stained with blood, a mix of both mine and his. Nothing made sense anymore, especially my actions towards JJ. She needed me now, and I had let her down. God knows what was racing through her mind, and to see me have such a reaction, towards her with the knife and me feeling helpless, I wanted to punch myself. I was still not in control of my own thoughts. I needed to be me, Emily Prentiss, not the victim, but it seemed impossible.

"He's alive," I said, motioning towards Jacob, even though everyone knew who I was talking about. I didn't know what else to say. Hopefully the words would bring her some type of comfort.

"Good. That's good," she smiled at me.

"Do the phones work? Maybe we could get in touch with someone, get an ambulance out here," I spoke up again. JJ looked over at where the phone was, her eyes still full of pain and betrayal.

"No, I checked when they were both gone. They don't have cell phones or a computer either," she shook her head.

"Makes it hard for Garcia now doesn't it? I can only imagine how helpless she is feeling right now, not able to do her job, to help her friends. I don't know, maybe we should ask Emily how that feels. Emily?" he pestered. How could I be angry at a man who speaks the truth? In every way, I was broken.

"How the hell do you know so much about us? You knew we were together. Jacob knew about what Emily had said-"

"-are you referring to I can take it?" He looked over at me, and even just hearing those words caused my body to shake. He continued, satisfied with his work. "Honestly, that was easy. One of the guys on that case talked about anything when he had a few beers in him. There are ways of getting information out of people. Manipulation, right JJ?" Mitchell grinned.  
"You're testing me, I know who I am, and I am not you," JJ argued back at him. I knew she was trying her best not to lose it.

"Of course not, at least not yet. But in you, deep inside you were you're afraid to look, there is a piece of me. I saw it, that darkness in your eyes. You want to kill me right now. You want to put a bullet in my head, or maybe you want me to suffer," he tried to confuse her.

He was pushing JJ as far as she could go, and neither of us was stopping him.

"Of course I want you to suffer. I want your son to do it; I'll bring him back to life if I have to. I want him to do the things he did to Emily. I want, no I need you to feel what that's like. Is that what you want to hear?"

"Oh JJ…" I started, but he wasn't finished with her yet.

"You're more than perfect. Here I was worried that Emily would ruin this all, but your actions prove that I chose the right woman to carry on. Something's are about more than love, some are about what people will remember you as. You'll remember me as the man who helped you see your true reflection,"

"Stop it, please-"

"Why else would you lie about killing Emily if it wasn't to see my reaction? You might've fooled her with the gun, but not me. I thought I wanted a family with you, but I think you're even worse than me. We might cause women pain, but you get in people's minds. That's the worst kind of people. You better be careful Emily," he warned me.

"How did you know about us? I mean even the team doesn't know." JJ tried to change the subject.

"I've been studying you for a long time. I noticed a few months ago how she glances at you while you're doing interviews,"

"Well, was it worth getting me here? Do you like what you see?"

"Oh yes. I mean we didn't make that baby that I had been looking forward to, but the experience was, well it was satisfying to say the least. I've been, what do you call it? Ahh yes, imprinted on you. Emily will doubt herself, her job, her love for you, everything because she froze. She was the one on the ground giving up, and not you. And Jennifer, well you tricked me, stabbed my son, lied to your girlfriend, and felt sympathy for your captor.

Don't deny it. When I told you my story, you felt sorry for me, even pity would still be something. My legacy lives on in you two, And to think all I had to do was leave a trail of crumbs for you to follow" Mitch divulged.

"What are you talking about?" JJ asked.

"All those dead women you looked at that we killed. You see I picked women that matched your description. Similar age, white, blue eyes, blonde. Finding women in the work force that lived at the office, leaving their children all alone at home, that proved to be too easy. Then when I found out about you two, well it just worked itself out perfectly. Emily was Jacob's type. If the blondes didn't draw you here, then seeing the dead face of Emily sure would."

I knew JJ was blaming herself. All those women. Why couldn't he be done with his taunting? Wasn't he satisfied? Why couldn't he mess with my head now? I needed to feel the pain again.

Again he changed topics. What was his agenda? "Remind me, why did you stab my son? Was it for vengeance? Was it because he was threatening you?"

"You don't have to answer him JJ," I quickly said. She didn't owe him any explanation.

"Don't lie to yourself. Don't say it was to protect her. You wanted it," he told her. He stood up, gliding over to where she was.

That's not what she was doing, was it? No, I couldn't think like him. It was us versus him, and we were stronger together, always have been. Why do I keep thinking that JJ is capable of any of this? It looked like, at least it will look like to everyone else, that she stabbed an innocent boy. But I knew different. She did it to even the score. One bullet wouldn't have been enough. He was stronger. I opened my mouth to say these things, but I barely made a noise. I tried clearing it, but it burned.

"He was in the way. It's not like that," she tried, but every word sounded weaker than the one before it.

"You wanted this. Look at that bitch on the ground. But that's what you can't face right now. You didn't do it because of her scars, you did it for you. Love was an excuse you made for yourself," he said.

"No, no. Please, it wasn't me. Emily, I, he told me to, and when I picked the knife up, I just couldn't put it down. I don't know. Everything is a blur. Please, please believe me. Please, I am not like him. Am I?" She looked over at me needing me to tell her I believed her. Even if she had done it on purpose, how could I judge her? I would've done the same thing if I was in her place.

I swallowed, hoping to break the silence in my throat. I opened my mouth to speak, but again I was interrupted; this time by the sound of cars and flashes of red and blue in the windows. They were here. They had found us.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

I managed to pull myself up and was standing against the wall. My legs felt like jelly, and I could feel my throat choking back vomit. How much longer would we have to wait?

Mitchell walked away from JJ, his hand reaching in his jeans.

I stumbled towards her, and she grabbed me to keep me steady.

"I never gave up on you. I promise," I told her.

"No, no, no! You can't just say that and make things better. It doesn't change anything. Just because they are out there doesn't mean you get to escape. You'll never forget me. I will always haunt-"

**** **"**It's over. We won," I hugged JJ. Was Mitchell finally coming undone?  
"Do you truly believe that? You think you can just walk out of here and everything will be alright?"  
I ignored him. He was nothing a few months of therapy couldn't wash away. I tried to reassure myself, but the lie couldn't make my mind be at peace.  
"JJ, you can put the gun down now. We won't be needing it," I told her.  
"Yes, put it down. Look at me, I'm not a threat. I'm just a helpless man who wants nothing more than to walk out of here alive. I'll follow your lead. You just have to walk through that door and you'll never have to see me again. Right?" He snickered.  
Jacob groaned on the ground and coughed up some blood. It was the first sound he had made since Emily had been in the room. JJ's eyes gazed on him. Her finger rested on the trigger.  
"Planning on shooting somebody? You missed last time," he looked over at me. JJ dropped the gun on the ground almost immediately. Both of her arms were now wrapped around my body. I spread my feet a part to help keep from toppling over.  
"Figured out the lie you are going to tell your team about Jacob? You might want to let me in on it so no one will question you. Come on, lets have it," he kept berating her.  
They heard a loud crash and Morgan walked in the room, gun aimed at Mitchell's back.

"Haven't you heard it's rude to crash a party you weren't invited to," Mitchell yelled towards Morgan.

Morgan ignored him. "You two okay?" He asked us. I started laughing. I don't know why, but his question seemed funny to me. I nodded, and my laughs turned to tears.

"You're going to rot in hell, you bastard," I choked out. The world seemed like a brighter place already.

Morgan walked towards Mitchell and told him to get on his knees. Mitchell ignored him. He pulled out something shiny from his pants and pointed it at me.

"Just die you bitch!"

The clock seemed to stop. I felt hands shoving against me, and soon I was falling. I hit the ground and my vision went white. A second later a shot rang through the room.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

When my vision came back, I looked up at JJ. Her face was pale white. Why did she do that? Why was she still protecting me?  
I waited for her to join me on the ground, but it was Mitchell who fell to his knees, his shirt soaked with blood. Morgan had been faster. Warm hands helped me to get to my feet. The joy in my heart took over any pain my body was feeling. Morgan smiled at me, and I returned one. Was it all truly over?

"JJ, what's wrong?" I noticed she wasn't moving. Was she in shock? "JJ?" I said her name again. It was then I noticed the red liquid start to seep through her shirt. He had pulled the trigger; a bullet with my name on it now lodged inside her.  
No, this was all wrong. They were here, we were free. I moved towards her but Morgan held me back. I kicked him and he let go, just in time for me to catch her. I held her in my arms, not knowing what to do.  
"Is it bad?" she asked. I was too afraid to look. I couldn't look, I couldn't know. I was a coward who couldn't face the truth.  
"It's just a graze, love. You're just losing a lot of blood, that's all. An ambulance is on its way," I kissed her forehead, trying to hold back tears.  
She smiled and mouthed I love you. She closed her eyes, and I could feel her pulse start to slow down. I shook her, trying to wake her up. "JJ, stay with me. Dammit someone help. Please, god, I can't lose her. Somebody do something!"  
Nobody seemed to be moving. Without thinking I tore off her bloody sleeve and concentrated on helping her and not looking at the hole that was gushing blood out.

Me pleas were finally heard. I was being pulled once again away from her, this time by Rossi. I slumped away, feeling as motionless as JJ. Maybe this time if I willed myself to death it would work.

My hands were covered in her blood. Without my consent my mind went back to the last time I had her blood on my hands. I couldn't hold it back anymore. I threw up on the ground. If Rossi hadn't been holding me, I would have fainted.

"She took the bullet for you again. If you had let JJ kill you the first time, none of this would have happened. You don't deserve her," Mitchell mumbled as I was pulled further away from him.

"No. No, let me go. Let me kill him. I swear to god if JJ… You son of a bitch. You missed!" I screamed at him. Rossi had dragged me into the next room so I couldn't see him anymore. I had been kicking and trying to escape his clutch, but there was no point now.

"If she- you kill me. I can't, I won't live without her. But you let me kill him first," I cried and fell into his arms.

Rossi held me as I screamed and squirmed and tried to fight. He knew I wasn't trying to hurt him, I just couldn't be held down anymore. Being restrained, although it was to stop me from killing a man, was driving me crazy.

I heard the ambulance pull in and could hear the hurried footsteps and questions being asked about her condition.

I banged my fists against the wall as hard as I could, and that was it. I had let it all out. Rossi must have felt my body relax for the first time because he let go.

I wiped my face off, trying to look decent in case she woke up. Rossi grabbed my hand before I left.

"Emily, look at me. JJ is going to be fine. The ambulance is here and they are going to treat her first, before the unsubs, I promise. You don't need to tell me what happened, but you need to know this is real, and we are not going to let those men touch or talk to you again. You're safe," he spoke softly.

"Thank you. I would have done it, and I wouldn't have regretted it for a second. I don't know what that makes me, but I could care less," I spoke honestly to him, my mind still concentrated on getting revenge on Mitchell.

"It makes you human. At the end of the day, not a single one of us is invincible."

"You'd think after seeing this every day we would be trained to handle situations like this, but I think it makes these cases worse because we know how they think and why they think that way. And none of that could have ever prepared me to deal with this," I spit out.

"You're still here, and that's what matters. You made it out, and you know many don't get to say that," he tried to reassure me. He was trying too hard to be optimistic, but it was no use. It didn't change anything.

"A part of me wishes I hadn't. I think maybe death is easier, and they got lucky because they won't have to deal with this every second. The scars on my back, they'll go away in time. But the one's you can't see, I don't know, and that's scares me," I said. I hoped me telling Rossi all this wouldn't make him feel uneasy around me. I just didn't know if I could talk to JJ about it yet. It was hard enough admitting it out loud.

He stood with me until the EMT called out my name.

"She's asking for you," the woman said.

"She's…awake?" I ask softly

The EMT lead me outside were I saw the rest of the team. Hotch must have made them wait. Garcia ran over and almost trampled me with the bear hug. I flinched, but she was too busy speed talking to notice. "I have not slept a lick since you two were missing. I flew down as fast as I could, and have been living off of off brand coffee and Red Bull," she squeezed me again, and although it hurt, it felt good being around her quirky self. She had that power to make me smile.

Reid awkwardly walked over to me. He was looking down at his feet, and it didn't take a profiler to know that something was on his mind.

Hotch called out Penelope's name and she scrambled away, leaving us together. "I messed up the profile. I made a miscalculation. We could have been here earlier, but I, I don't know. I'm sorry Emily," he kicked the dirt.

"Don't you dare say that, okay? This had nothing to do with you. We were all under pressure and made mistakes. Now are you going to give me a hug or what?"

Reid lifted his head and finally smiled. He wrapped his bony arms around me. "I missed you," is all he said, and it was enough. It hurt to see how much pain was in all of their faces. They were happy to see us alive, but sooner or later they would all know what went on.

Morgan was dealing with the unsubs, but he'd understand if I left without a hug. Hotch walked me to the back of the ambulance.

"I don't know where to begin. How soon do we have to send in a report?" I asked, my job's responsibilities not leaving me. JJ and I were going to have to revisit this horror a few more times before we could finally begin to move on.

"Don't worry about it. You've been through a lot. They'll understand," he nodded. I managed to laugh at that. The bosses were never pleased with anything. I wonder if it would be worse that we were a couple or that we were tortured.

"We'll come by later, to check up on you two. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call," he said.

"Of course. Aaron, this wasn't about you or the team so don't let any of them feel guilty. Shit happens. I knew you'd come, and you did. We're driving out in an ambulance, not body bags. Don't put this on your shoulders," I told him as he helped me up onto the truck.

They were all staring at us. JJ grabbed my hand I bent down to kiss her. They all saw, and I knew they were all happy for us. It wasn't that memorable scene I had envisioned, where we were driving away in a limo in our wedding dresses with the corny just got married sign on the back, but it was still a powerful moment for us.

As the doors closed, we were heading back up the road that we had come down what seemed like years ago. The EMT's let me hold her hand the whole time. They put the oxygen mask on her, but she seemed to be doing better. Her breathing was back to normal, and she was getting some color in her face.

The ambulance went over a pot hole and I flew back a bit, scraping my back against the side. All the blood that I had lost was starting to hit me and the pain was immense. I wouldn't let the EMT look at me right now, but he gave me pills for the pain.

Still grasping each other, we both drifted off to sleep.


End file.
